Loving yourself is a good place to start to feel loved all the time. Therefore grow self-love with every breath you take, knowing that you are worthy and completely loveable.

By loving yourself you experience completeness and emanate deep peace from within your soul. This impacts your relationship with others as well as your inter-connectedness with the world, regaining a true sense of belonging.

In this post we will explore the concepts of self-love to reconnect deeply to who we are.

I’m just sharing my personal insights about this topic as I continue to thirst for understanding.

What is “our self”?

There are many ways to develop and maintain a healthy and positive lifelong relationship with our self. The question remains, how do we define what “our self” is?

The way I would describe it in words reduces down to this:

We have one self made up of four main pillars: the physical, mental, emotional and spiritual body. These are completely interrelated, which explains why our body is usually glowing with health when our emotional and mental states are at peace and aligned with our spiritual values. Equally, the body is likely to experience illness when the emotional self is overloaded and stress challenges the immune system.

Values

The foundation of these pillars are our spiritual values. What are we aligning ourselves to?

For example, I believe that peace is my highest form of fulfillment and therefore, I chose to create experiences of love in this lifetime, as this brings me peace. The scriptures say:

“Do everything in love” (1 Corinthians 16:14. NIV)

‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’(Matthew 22:40. NIV)

In healing this relationship with ourselves, we are open to receiving more love and tapping into the abundance of it to share it with others too.

Self-love grows the virtues of humbleness, gratitude, patience, generosity, positivity and many more.

Internal cleanse

Whilst many of us might be looking within and dislike what we see, self-love requires acceptance of our weaknesses as humans. Repentance and forgiveness play an important role in clearing the pain and suffering we may have created for ourselves and others. This can be as simple as recognizing the seeds of hurt we have planted with our spoken words, and asking for forgiveness to God* for having done that. Praying for strength of heart and mind to forgive ourselves and others, for keeping the peace and replacing negative thoughts with positive ones. As we practice this internal cleanse regularly, we continue to align our values to the values we aspire to embody and live out fully in this lifetime.

(*I recognize that some people who are reading this do not believe in God, therefore, you may associate God to what it is that you believe is the source of creation)

Flourishing the relationship with ourselves

Installing self-love rituals is key to nourish and grow this relationship with ourselves.

It’s like building a road through the bush, the more you walk along that path, the more it clears out and it becomes easier to walk that way to get to where you want to go.

In the same way, in practicing self-love rituals, and consciously growing this positive, loving and caring relationship with ourselves, it becomes easier to connect to that feeling.

I’ve spoken to many people who’s sense of self-worth is so low that they can’t even imagine taking the time to give back to themselves. They don’t feel worthy to be loved, not even by themselves, and thereby prefer to continue self-destructive practices.

Yet it all starts with a thought. Hence choosing to love yourself is the seed, the first step towards creating this experience. Marisa Peer teaches that :first you make your belief, and then your belief makes you”. Therefore, tell yourself that you are worthy, and eventually, with repetition, you will feel worthy.

From my experience as a therapist, I have noticed that many people who seem to have it all, the beautiful fit tanned body and the perfect loving caring companionship, the traveling to tropical places and the exuberance of adrenaline flushing through their flesh. Whilst their photos are beautiful and reflect what we’d expect to be heaven on Earth, those people are not necessarily happy on the inside. Their outer shell shines perfection yet their inner foundations are crumbling, and they can’t get enough distraction to look away from the emptiness within their broken parts of their inner most self. It is like a beautiful shiny plump peach on the supermarket shelf, you can’t wait to get home and taste it. Then you have a bite and realize that on the inside, the fruit is bruised, it’s furry and tasteless. So where do we get the real juice from?

Self-love is not about showing off and being arrogant to make others feel belittled, it’s not about consuming shiny toys to desperately fill the void within. Instead, self-love grows in fertile grounds and through many different ways.

Here’s some of my experiences with growing self-love:

SHARING MY GIFTS:

I’ve felt sweet self-love when sharing my gifts with the world. My sense of purpose has morphed and changed over the years and I’ve grown many different skills. These skills are now part of my personal tool box. Hence, I apply these when I see fit, and thereby, share my purpose in the present moment.

I believe that our many gifts have been given to us by God, and these are to be shared with the world. Our gifts are not to be kept to ourselves, otherwise they have no purpose and nor do we. In saying this, I gift you a fully guided massage and meditation session – make the time to pamper yourself and watch this video. It’s time to fill up your cup of self-love.

GRATITUDE:

Like the rising sun to the ocean horizon, self-love rises when feeling grateful. Hence, I like to practice gratitude daily. Giving thanks to my body for functioning properly, feeling beautiful on the inside. Whilst the appearance of our liver, pancreas, kidneys, lungs or intestines haven’t been glorified by fashion magazines, I believe they are sexy. Without them, we wouldn’t live so freely. Everyday they practice fantastic teamwork and goodwill to allow us to experience life and live out our purpose.

Gratitude for my community, for challenging me to work on those values and chip away at my illusions, carving out the essence of who I am.

Gratitude for Earth, to hold us, feed us and give us warmth from the moment we’re born to the moment we leave this Earth.

Gratitude for divine guidance, the presence of God when I call upon him…and even when I don’t. I never feel lonely in my alone-ness, and that warmth and reassurance is gold to me.

FORGIVENESS:

I find that asking for forgiveness to a loved one, a parent, a friend, is a gift I give to myself as it clears all the negative bonds I may have cultivated. It allows me to be free.

So if there’s someone you need to forgive or ask forgiveness to, then go for it.

Forgiveness allows us to press reset and un-clip our wings. Learning from our past and continuing to dance with positive energy as we move forwards in life, with love.

FREEDOM IS A STATE OF MIND:

It is good practice to free our minds from past clutter. No matter how difficult the past has been and how painful and unjust the present moment may be, I pray to God for strength to face the situation and to heal my deepest wounds.

A short and simple prayer that helps me find peace when facing relationship turmoil is:

“Lord, give me the strength to forgive

.

Give me the heart to love him/her the way you love him/her.

Holly spirit fill my heart with love joy and peace of mind”.

Through prayer, I let go of the fear, and with faith, I trust that God will take care of it all in the best possible way. This allows my energy to be recycled and remain open to love, acceptance and peace.

Therapy

Whilst I believe God is the one and only that can intervene in one’s life to grant peace and deep powerful healing, therapy has helped me understand my very own limitations and blockages and through this understanding, I was able to shine light upon these and release old patterns of behavior.

Through Rapid Transformational Therapy, I guide my clients through the wilderness of their subconscious mind to understand what’s holding them back. Together, we interrupt those self-limiting beliefs. I then re-inform their subconscious mind of what it is that they have consciously chosen for themselves.

As we know, the mind loves what’s familiar, and therefore, the key to interrupting self-sabbotaging behaviors is to become aware of the thought pattern and choose differently. Through Rapid Transformational Therapy, I can help you reprogram your subconscious mind to allow this new mindset to sink in deeply into your blueprint. In adjusting your mindset, you open the pathway to healing your physical body as well. Yet, the will power and effort remains yours: to choose to help yourself because you know you’re worth it, then identifying the therapist you feel inclined to work with and then following the procedure that’s recommended.

Inner Dialogue

You can begin your personal transformation right now by observing your self-talk and monitoring your inner dialogue, that is, the words you tell yourself. Identify the negative thoughts and words you want to disassociate yourself from, and the new thoughts and words you choose to install in order to create the life you want. Keeping it simple is good. If what you want is to grow the feeling of worthiness and self-love, a quick and easy step in the right direction is to repeat frequently “I am loveable”, “I am worthy” , “I love you ”. Write it on the homescreen of your phone, mark your mirror and windows with these nourishing words. Positive self-talk and gifting yourself loving words is joy elixir for your soul. In doing this, you are planting seeds of self-love. In meditating and focusing on this intention, you are opening the doors for this energy to flow through you and grow these seedlings into a thriving jungle of self-love. Visualization is a powerful fertilizer for your seeds of thought.

Therefore, unleash a strong sense of complicity with yourself by:

Praising yourself for finding acceptance for where you’re at, with your weakness and strengths.

Praising yourself for chipping away at your disillusion and realigning yourself to your higher values.

Praising your body for the great work it’s doing at keeping you alive and functioning to serve your purpose.

Praising yourself for your will power to keep learning and growing in this lifetime.

Praising yourself for the light you shine from within you and into this world.

Praising yourself for being a servant to your higher purpose.

On this note, I celebrate you for being you and I celebrate with you for being alive in this lifetime where we’re blessed with so much choice and freedom of mind.

Wishing you a wonderful season of sowing seeds of love within yourself and into this world.

If you would like to discuss any of this further, I invite you to book a FREE discovery call with me.